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Not Yet Married

The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating

Marshall Segal



Not Yet Married

The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating

Marshall Segal


Single people are one of the fastest growing demographics in America. Now more than ever, marriage is being postponed, willingly or unwillingly, for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the greatest temptation in singleness is to assume marriage was designed to meet our needs, fix our weaknesses, solve our problems, organize our lives, and unleash our gifts. But the single years can be a unique, God–given period of unmatched and intentional devotion to Christ and ministry to others, even in the midst of waiting for a spouse. This book will help single people make the most of their not–yet–married life by making much of Jesus as they look ahead to a wise, pure, and godly marriage.

  • Title

    Not Yet Married

  • Author(s)

    Marshall Segal

  • ISBN


  • Format


  • Publisher


  • Topic

    Marriage & Relationships

  • Audience


  • Pages


  • Published


Overall rating

5.0 based on 2 reviews

Not Yet Married

At first, I only read this book out of obedience to my mother, who told me that I HAD to read it. Now I can truly say that this is one of the best books I have ever read and I think every Christian of any age (whether single or married) should read this wonderful book. It is split into two halves: the first half is about the joy of singleness (a radical viewpoint in a society that says you’re basically just half a person waiting to be completed by someone else) and the second half is about how to conduct yourself whilst you’re dating. What I love most about this book is how it isn’t written by someone who is the perfect example to follow, who has all the answers and who makes you feel completely condemned by your own attitudes or experiences. No – Marshall Segal writes with honesty and humility, sharing his own pain and mistakes, he constantly points us to the Redeemer God who uses even our greatest failures for His glory and for our good. For my single brothers and sisters, read this book – it might just change your attitude towards singleness and hopefully will change your attitude towards dating too. For my married brothers and sisters – read this book! I think it might just change how you relate to the single people in your church and how you counsel people in the early stages of their relationship. Read it, pray about it and then give it to someone who you think could do with reading it too.

Asha Joseph

Not Yet Married

We wanted a book to give to people at church who were engaged or ‘dating’ or just “not (yet) married”. Our son suggested this one. I bought it, read it (took less than a week) and then bought 25 of them from 10ofThose to give away. Whilst I think this book is primarily aimed at 20–30 year–old, single Christians, as a married, middle–aged Christian, I found this to be an edifying, challenging and compelling read. The book is organised into two distinct halves: the first is about Christian singleness, ‘The Not–Yet–Married Life’. I wish that I had been given this book and told to read it when I was a teenager, desperate to find a husband. The focus is rightly NOT on Mr/Mrs Right but on the One True Bridegroom and His eternal Kingdom. It is so clear about what our priorities should be as Christians, that I actually felt guilty about being married at all! (I had to leave part one for a time and skip to part two because of this.) Chapter 5 in particular, I wanted to photocopy and hand out to everyone at the door on Sunday (don’t worry, Copyright, I didn’t). It is called ‘Knowing everyone but Never Known’ and is about church membership – involvement in the local body of Christ, which “is one of the most radically countercultural and spiritually beneficial things you can do in the not–yet–married life. When everyone else your age refuses to be tied down and resists being accountable, submit yourself to the body of believers. Drive a stake in the ground and say to the whole world that you belong to Jesus… Tell them Christianity is not a tiny corner of your life; it IS your life.” (P71) The second part of the book is about how to conduct ourselves in a ‘dating’ or ‘considering marrying each other’ context. This is the relationship manual everyone should read (once they have seen what scripture says on these things, of course). And to take the words and ideas from something else I read a few years ago, this is a book about purity that you can read without losing your purity. This is an extremely practical guide, and includes things such as “pursu[ing] clarity more than intimacy” (p109) and “find[ing] a [fiancé/] fiancée on the front lines” (p111). Every adult Christian should read this book. Either because you are not yet married, or because there are people in your church and family who are not yet married.


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